Today's post comes after a fun-filled week of life chats with awesome students (former and current). In some way everyone is facing similar struggles in maintaining a healthy balance of their personal and professional lives. I had some conversations that took me back to my own undergraduate experiences.
One of my tragic flaws is that I'm a serious people-pleaser. I rated my own value on my ability to make others laugh, be happy, and have fun. I can remember doing this even as a kid when hanging out with my family. It's honestly why I think I have some of the best game nights; I'm the perfect host. The feeling of failure would always set in if I did something to make others upset or an event didn't go the way that it was meant too. My mom and dad often give the best advice, and it was them who told me the words I needed to hear in those moments.
"Jake, you're not responsible for the feelings of the world. Take care of Number One before it all goes to Number Two."
It was with this that I started to recognize and gave attention to the value I brought into my relationships with others and what energy they brought to me. I strongly believe that leaders work with determination to build an influence relationship with the people they work with, but to put it more simply: Leaders invest time and emotion into the people who they can work with together to accomplish mutually held goals. There are plenty of times where I invested my time and emotion into the wellbeing of people who wouldn't do the same for me, and over time, I learned to loosen my connection to those people.
I don't know that these ramblings will connect with any of you. If they do, I hope that if you find yourself doubting what you bring to relationships (friendships, work teams, romantic relationships or otherwise) you are in you take the time to explore that
. Reflect on what you bring to the relationship, know your value, and what you are getting back in return. Relationships with others are important, but so is spending your time in the right spaces with the right people.